I am carrying extra weight, and I'm not talking about the extra lbs in these thunder thighs (although there's that too). I am talking about the invisible backpack filled with invisible bricks that I lug around on a daily basis. Remember that analogy from our fifth grade health class?
Let me remind you:
We all wear backpacks that are filled with bricks of all different sizes. Bricks of tasks we have to accomplish, goals we want to achieve, decisions we have to make, emotional instabilities, IT'S JUST FULL OF BRICKS! And these bricks weigh us down emotionally and physically.
Personally, most of my bricks come from the expectations I have for myself. Expectations to get a better job, to look a certain way, be more attentive, more focused, more driven; and although these are all great things to reach towards, they all focus on being more and not being enough now.
Some days these expectations are too overwhelming and I am left in a horrible mood. I get grumpy, I don't want to talk to anyone, thinking alone pains me and I feel trapped in a dreadfully foggy place. Have you ever been there?
The truth is, you are enough. I am enough. WE ARE ENOUGH! But it's hard to realize that when you are in this state of mind. So how to we get past it? How do we "break the bricks"? Although we may not be able to dispose of them all (or at least not right away), there are many tricks to help lighten the load.
1. SIT ON IT.
Sometimes we need to embrace our defeat. If I immediately jump into action to fix my mood, I usually end up feeling worse because I am unmotivated to change. So I give myself about an hour or two to be as I am, grumpy and all. I lay down, throw a pity party, watch an episode of Friday Night Lights or stare blankly at the ceiling. Let yourself be in the moment and embrace your feelings. Trust me, it will help. Limit yourself to three hours (maximum) and then move on.
2. UNZIP THE BAG.
What is heavy on your heart? I know it's a scary and not-so-easy-to-answer question, but it shouldn't be avoided. Open your backpack and take a good deep look at those bricks. Fumble around in there! Really spend some time analyzing them because lets face it, ignoring the bricks is useless and will not get you anywhere. You will feel stuck in your mood until you truly open up to yourself.
3. WRITE IT OUT.
Writing out your thoughts can really help you understand the root of the issue. You don't have to be a journalist with an english degree to jot a couple of things down! Seeing your thoughts on paper can help you visualize what is really going on and will help you concentrate on trying to work out the knots.
I have realized in the past couple of weeks that I am not so great at self-reflection. I will "think" about my feelings but I don't actually put much thought into it. Does that make sense? I can better organize my thoughts when I see them in words, when I can go back and revise my train of thought and add more depth to my emotion.
These words are yours; no one has to read them but you. Don't be afraid to be real with yourself.
4. CHANNEL YOUR ENERGY IN A POSITIVE WAY.
When I am in a funk I love to throw things out. I grab a trash bag and go to town tossing away anything that no longer serves purpose to me. Then I have an overly OCD cleaning session, scrubbing and organizing everything that screams out to me. I suppose a plus side of feeling upset is a much cleaner living space...
What makes you feel better? Go do it. Start anything that will focus your energy elsewhere, whether it be cleaning, working out, painting, shopping, walking around or singing at the top of your lungs. If you feel trapped in your mental mind state, get out of the house and into a new environment.
5. SMASH THE BRICKS YOU CAN.
You may not be able to immediately rid yourself of the bricks you carry in your backpack, but you can break them into smaller, lighter pieces until they are almost completely gone. I still carry bricks in my backpack from my childhood years, however little by little and through the passing of time, bigger bricks have become smaller stones.
Take away the power of the bricks you can by resolving conflicts that are hurting you. Whether it's a struggling relationship, a wound from your past, a regret, doubt, insecurity, fear, you name it... start chiseling away. Forgive, let go, understand that words are said when tensions are hot and decisions are made that may take you off course. Have grace for yourself and others. Life will still go on. Don't live it with heavy shoulders.
If these ideas don't help you, maybe a puppy will. My dog ate drywall when she was a puppy. I'm sure she could handle a brick.
