Up and Away

I love being above the clouds. I like looking down to a map of roads and changing scenery; where cities become flecks of light, farms quilt the earth, and the darkest storm clouds compose the most beautiful masterpieces in the sky. My job, worries, and insecurities seem so small from up here. They dissipate in the overwhelming beauty of the world below me. 

I love giving up control when I fly; I can sit back, relax, observe, and listen.  Its why I love to travel and thirst for adventure. 

Today I am flying to Charleston, South Carolina to visit my dad and stepmom. I will spend three days here visiting friends and family until I'm off to Charlotte, where I will help my brother and sister-in-law pack up and move across the country to Denver! It's about to be one heck of an adventure :) Stay tuned for updates of our travels, and HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!! 

Best,

Shana

Shay Confesses

Confession: I am a compulsive painter.

What does that mean? It means that out of an abyss I decide that I need to have a paintbrush in my hand and something needs to change its color, RIGHT NOW.

Last week, it was the kitchen buffet... which I have since turned into a TV stand (primarily due to a lack of furniture and space). Today, it was this shutter and my nightstand via the left over paint from last weeks' project. And you know what? I'm okay with my crazy impulsive decisions! I absolutely LOVE the new color (it's Coco by Annie Sloan), and through these projects I find inspiration to live by.  

Sure, my craziness may take place mid-day and mid-productive spurt. But I think these random acts of paintness make me, a better me. I believe it is okay to take a break, to drop everything and let your mind wander. Scariest of all, I believe that change can be good. So when a room speaks to you and the furniture SCREAMS to be painted, you paint and you change. 

And don't you think that I wasn't being productive while I wasn't being productive! During this quick little project, I listen to Lauren's podcast from today and spent a good deal of time reflecting on what I want for this year. Mid-reflection, I remembered a quote I recently read in Big Magic that resonated with me: 

I want to live the most vividly decorated temporary life that I can... emotionally, spiritually, intellectually. I don't want to be afraid of bright colors, or new sounds, or big love, or risky decisions, or strange experiences, or weird endeavors, or sudden changes, or even failure.

- Elizabeth Gilbert

Ahhhhh.... every time I read this I feel right in the world. All of my struggles and worries and fears and failures are lifted and accepted. Because life is life, and love is love. And paint is paint, and creativity is the root of productivity (at least for me). 

I hope that you embrace your imperfections and your crazy quirks that make you, uniquely you! If you are interested in listening to the podcast that I aforementioned, check out my ever-so-inspirational sister-in-laws' podcast below! 

#ShayReads: Girl Code

I have a slight obsession with the book Girl Code, written by Cara Alwill Leyba. I read it in one day and nearly underlined or highlighted every sentence. I would lend you my copy for proof... but I literally love this book so much and won't let you have it. I do however, HIGHLY suggest you prime yourself a copy ASAP! Heres a direct link:

Cara Alwill is a certified master life-coach, founder of The Champagne Diet and published author of multiple books that I cannot wait to get my hands on! Her most recent book, Girl Code, is perfect for any aspiring #BossBabe or female looking for a little inspiration & love. It is influential and interactive, leaving you with many opportunities to jot down a few notes about each chapter and self-reflect on her discussions. 

Although Girl Code was written with the female entrepreneur in mind, you don't have to be an aspiring boss lady to read and appreciate this book. Here are my fave-five takeaways from the book, that are applicable to any woman (not just the boss babe breed):

1. You are worthy of every desire in your heart

And don't you forget it! What do you want in life? Make a list, write it out and at the end of that list write a big-fat "I AM WORTHY OF IT ALL". Write it big and write it proud. Post that baby on your refrigerator, bulletin board, or bathroom mirror and let yourself be reminded of it every day! Because you are worthy of everything near and dear to you. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. 

2. Celebrate people who celebrate you 

Don't waste your time, energy or emotion on someone who doesn't appreciate or celebrate you! Surround yourself with people who see your potential, who remind you that you are capable of accomplishing your craziest dreams and who celebrate both your failures and successes. Keep those who love you close to your heart and always remember to celebrate them in return. They deserve to acknowledged and appreciated, just as you do!

Celebrate yourself! At times, you may be your biggest cheerleader and deserve credit for it. Cara suggests writing yourself a love letter to remind you of how worthy you are when the going gets rough. If you are having a hard time (because it can be a litttttttle hard to start), she suggests you start by generating a list of qualities you like about yourself. This list should include anything you are proud of, your accomplishments, and your best traits. Here's an example:

Dear Shay,

You're a pretty badass chick. You help women on a daily basis find their confidence and feel beautiful. IN A BATHING SUIT! You demonstrate excellent customer service, exceed your sales goals and manage to accomplish the many tasks to keep the store operating smoothly. 

On top of this, you find the time to pursue your passions. You dream up crazy ideas and do not hesitate to dip your toes in the water. In fact, you just dive on in! You press the "save & publish" button on your blog despite knowing your grammar is far from perfect. Despite fearing what people will think of your stories. You are brave.

You are a dependable friend. You are an honest worker. You are wonderful and are worthy of every desire in your heart

Yours truly xoxo

Simple and sweet! Granted, that's a pretty shortened version of the love letter I wrote myself... but at least you can get an idea of what I mean. WRITE IT NOW! Give yourself the love you deserve... and remember, no one has to read this but you. 

3. You can literally shift your energy, increase your happiness, and become physically healthier when you switch your attitude to gratitude.

Cara says that, "we give ourselves the biggest gift possible when we focus on all of the things we are thankful for". It's a quick-fix for any stressful situation that arises when we let fear control us, for example, that fast-approaching deadline at work or that conversation you need to have with a loved one. Reflect and write down everything you are grateful for right now! I keep a copy of my list on my notes app incase I need to refer to it throughout the day. 

4. be compassionate towards other women. 

The last thing we should spend our time or energy on is bringing down the women of the world! Women need to build each other up, not tear each other down. Madeleine Albright once said that, "there is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." It's a little harsh, but she gets it. 

Women face a lot of injustice in today's world yet continue to bring each other down (usually for superficial reasons). Why is this necessary? We are hard enough on ourselves as it is, constantly comparing our bodies and lifestyles to that of our peers and women we have never met (thank you social media). We all search for the worst curve in our body, the deepest wrinkle on our face and the most visible stretch mark across our belly. Let's send our ladies some love and start giving out some compliments! Tell your girls what you admire about them and remind them that they are b-e-a-utiful!

                                                              - Britt Nicole -

5. make room for imperfection in your life.

"You're imperfect, and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging."

-Brené Brown

We will always be imperfectly perfect. One of our feet will always be bigger than the other, we will gain new scars as the years pass by and our lives will not always go to plan. But if we can embrace our  imperfections then we can learn to walk comfortably, love our scars for their stories and embrace the life we were meant to live. 

---

Kudos to you, Cara. Thank you for writing a book that inspired me in so many ways.

If you do purchase this book and find as much inspiration as I did... I would love to chat about it with you! What were your opinions? What stood out to you the most? Please reach out to me on the contact page, or email me at thereshaygoes@gmail.com. 

Living with bricks

I am carrying extra weight, and I'm not talking about the extra lbs in these thunder thighs (although there's that too). I am talking about the invisible backpack filled with invisible bricks that I lug around on a daily basis. Remember that analogy from our fifth grade health class?

Let me remind you: 

We all wear backpacks that are filled with bricks of all different sizes. Bricks of tasks we have to accomplish, goals we want to achieve, decisions we have to make, emotional instabilities, IT'S JUST FULL OF BRICKS! And these bricks weigh us down emotionally and physically. 

Personally, most of my bricks come from the expectations I have for myself. Expectations to get a better job, to look a certain way, be more attentive, more focused, more driven; and although these are all great things to reach towards, they all focus on being more and not being enough now. 

Some days these expectations are too overwhelming and I am left in a horrible mood. I get grumpy, I don't want to talk to anyone, thinking alone pains me and I feel trapped in a dreadfully foggy place. Have you ever been there?

The truth is, you are enough. I am enough. WE ARE ENOUGH! But it's hard to realize that when you are in this state of mind. So how to we get past it? How do we "break the bricks"? Although we may not be able to dispose of them all (or at least not right away), there are many tricks to help lighten the load. 

1. SIT ON IT.

Sometimes we need to embrace our defeat. If I immediately jump into action to fix my mood, I usually end up feeling worse because I am unmotivated to change. So I give myself about an hour or two to be as I am, grumpy and all. I lay down, throw a pity party, watch an episode of Friday Night Lights or stare blankly at the ceiling. Let yourself be in the moment and embrace your feelings. Trust me, it will help. Limit yourself to three hours (maximum) and then move on. 

2. UNZIP THE BAG. 

What is heavy on your heart? I know it's a scary and not-so-easy-to-answer question, but it shouldn't be avoided. Open your backpack and take a good deep look at those bricks. Fumble around in there! Really spend some time analyzing them because lets face it, ignoring the bricks is useless and will not get you anywhere. You will feel stuck in your mood until you truly open up to yourself.

3. WRITE IT OUT.

Writing out your thoughts can really help you understand the root of the issue. You don't have to be a journalist with an english degree to jot a couple of things down! Seeing your thoughts on paper can help you visualize what is really going on and will help you concentrate on trying to work out the knots.

I have realized in the past couple of weeks that I am not so great at self-reflection. I will "think" about my feelings but I don't actually put much thought into it. Does that make sense? I can better organize my thoughts when I see them in words, when I can go back and revise my train of thought and add more depth to my emotion.

These words are yours; no one has to read them but you. Don't be afraid to be real with yourself. 

4. CHANNEL YOUR ENERGY IN A POSITIVE WAY.

When I am in a funk I love to throw things out. I grab a trash bag and go to town tossing away anything that no longer serves purpose to me. Then I have an overly OCD cleaning session, scrubbing and organizing everything that screams out to me. I suppose a plus side of feeling upset is a much cleaner living space...

What makes you feel better? Go do it. Start anything that will focus your energy elsewhere, whether it be cleaning, working out, painting, shopping, walking around or singing at the top of your lungs. If you feel trapped in your mental mind state, get out of the house and into a new environment. 

5. SMASH THE BRICKS YOU CAN.

You may not be able to immediately rid yourself of the bricks you carry in your backpack, but you can break them into smaller, lighter pieces until they are almost completely gone. I still carry bricks in my backpack from my childhood years, however little by little and through the passing of time, bigger bricks have become smaller stones. 

Take away the power of the bricks you can by resolving conflicts that are hurting you. Whether it's a struggling relationship, a wound from your past, a regret, doubt, insecurity, fear, you name it... start chiseling away. Forgive, let go, understand that words are said when tensions are hot and decisions are made that may take you off course. Have grace for yourself and others. Life will still go on. Don't live it with heavy shoulders. 

If these ideas don't help you, maybe a puppy will. My dog ate drywall when she was a puppy. I'm sure she could handle a brick. 

Shay works out (maybe)

It's #fitnessfriday, so cue the sweatbands and yoga pants!

Truth be told... I haven't worked out since last Saturday. And I'm not even sure that counted. I participated in a 5K with my family. I ran half of it and walked the remainder at a verrryyy slow pace. Seriously, a 70-year old man passed me and finished before I did. He even made some grand-dad joke about there being gin at the water stations. But I do this. I work out five days in a row and then take off the next two weeks! I have never been consistent with my workouts, although now that I have shared this silly truth with the world, maybe I will be better about it.

Maybe. 

Another truth: I am procrastinating going to the gym right now. It's 8:37pm on a FRIDAY and I am sitting at Starbucks. The gym is literally right across the road, it only takes one game of chicken to get there. Yet, here I sit. Generating a list of all the excuses I've told myself today in order not to go. They are:

1. You need 30 more minutes of sleep. Sleep longer.
2. Okay you're up, but your coffee hasn't kicked in yet.
3. It's too hot to go for a run or a walk, you'll drown in the humidity.
4. Too late now, you have to get ready for work.
5. You've literally been standing on your feet ALL DAY at work. And on cement floors! The last thing you want to do is stand on them more.
6. You really just want to watch the next episode of Friday Night Lights because, Tim Riggins.
7. You need to write a new bog post. 
8. You don't want to sweat in your clothes. You've only been in that t-shirt and leggings for one hour and could get another use out of them tomorrow. 
9. You've already showered today. Go tomorrow morning so you can shower immediately after and not be wasteful by taking two showers in one day.
10. Your Fitbit isn't charged. What's the point of working out if your steps don't count?

This list is RIDICULOUS!! I would probably have more energy if I worked out in the morning, my body wouldn't require three cups of coffee, there is no "blog-God" telling me I have to write a post by any specific time or date, and I can shower at the gym and waste their water, not my own! The only item on that list that is a realistic concern is my Fitbit not being charged. I'm serious. That thing is powerfully motivational. 

Are you with me? Do you commit-to-quit before you even begin? Maybe you are diligent with your workouts, but this "talking-yourself-out-of-things" comes in another aspect of your life. Like dating, working, self-reflection, organizing, managing your bills, or strengthening your relationship with God. So, how do you get over it? You suck it up and just do it! Make it a priority in your life. Focus on the positive and how you will feel once you have accomplished what you wanted to accomplish. Generate a list of reasons WHY YOU MUST do it.

Or maybe Starbucks kicks you out because they are closing and you're forced to get a move on it. Either way, I encourage you to change your outlook. I'm going to change mine. 

Spreading the boss lady's inspiration

I mentioned in my last post that I have an incredible sister-in-law, Lauren. If ya'll don't know her, you best check her out. ESPECIALLY YOU, BOSS LADIES! She's beautiful, she's wildly inspiring, she takes frequent dance breaks, and she is the founder of Grit and Glitter Co. She loves coffee shops just as much as I do, and last week I had the wonderful opportunity to work along-side her. This is her working super hard at Mama's Coffee House in Charlotte, North Carolina. Ugh she's cute. Top bun on point.

Mama's Coffee House, Charlotte NC (please note how COOL this coffee shop is).

Every Thursday, she releases a podcast episode that highlights the stories of some amazing entreprenuerial women, for what she calls a "real, raw, soul-filled conversation". Let me tell you, that it exactly what it is. In her podcast, you hear the stories, the struggles, and the insecurities of these women that are so relatable, so uplifting, so INSPIRING! Even if you are not pursuing your own business aspiration, I guarantee you will learn something from listening to her podcast. I have been binge-listening to it for the past three weeks, and finally caught up to the current episode yesterday. I swear I am going through withdrawals and have reconsidered starting from episode one all over again! If you want to check it out for yourself, I just simplified your life. Go to www.gritandglitterco.com or simply click the button below:

Our biggest enemy can be that little voice inside our head that tells us we cannot achieve our goals, dreams, or aspirations. We have the tendency to bury an idea, or not press "publish" because we are afraid of failure, embarrassment, or inadequacy. But the truth is we all have these insecurities and at times, doubt our abilities. It makes us human. Even today I hesitated to invite people to like my Facebook page because my website is no where near finished, and I was uncertain of what others would think about it. Yes, it has a long way to go. However, I believe my words have value... whether they are spelt wright or the punctuation, is off. 

I did that on purpose to make a point. 

Your words, dreams, and aspirations have value too. Listen your heart and not the little voice inside of your head. CHASE THEM. HIT PUBLISH. You can always edit again later. 

Happy Thursday!

Drinking yet another cappuccino

I can never decide between a cappuccino or a sweet treat. There is something wonderful about sipping on something warm and smooth... I don't care how hot the day is. However, what's a cappuccino without a cookie? You absolutely need something sweet to even-out the bitterness of the espresso! Luckily there are many coffee shops nearby to satisfy my java cravings.

One of my all-time favorites (thanks to my fantabulous sister in-law, Lauren) is Vintage Coffee. Honestly, as soon as you see the pictures I'm sure you'll understand why. Just have a look:

IT'S SO CUTE. There is so much space to work, inside and out. Being a huge HGTV fan, I love how they renovated an old house into this eclectic coffee shop. The curb appeal is spot on, but so is the interior and the surrounding grounds! I would have a hard time deciding inside or out if it wasn't for the 100 degree weather down here.

Anyways, there is something wildly inspiring about sitting down in a coffee shop. Maybe it's the ambrosial aroma. Maybe its having the motivation of other hard-working individuals around you. Maybe its just the caffeine doing its magic. Whatever it is, I get work done. 

Today, while sitting at Vintage, drinking my cappuccino and eating my "Perfect Snack" cookie (a chocolate-chip cookie embedded with pieces of pretzel and potato chips), I decided to change the scope of my blog. Originally I wanted it solely to be a travel blog, but:

1. I don't want to constantly travel. That's not to say I don't want to travel. I really want to travel. But I also want a home that I can live in and spend the majority of my time making it my home. 
2. I want to talk about whatever the hell I want to talk about. 

It's plain as that. I want to tell you all about my cappuccinos, doughnuts, feelings, insights, home projects, pets, travels, you name it. So here I go. Again. Drinking yet another cappuccino and dreaming up new ideas.